It seems not long ago that I posted my blog on my resolution for 2017 to INVEST IN MYSELF. It seems only appropriate that at the end of 2017 that I should reflect back.

This year I have somehow gone from not travelling to any country for the last few years to having traveled to 4 on top have being given the opportunity to travel around England.

I had a small pop up shop and have gained a lot of praise in my clothing venture and have gained more and more opportunities. It’s not been an easy road, I’ve been learning and growing. I’ve invested a lot of time and money into building it’s foundation and I feel I am getting ready to go big.

I’ve started an absolutely brilliant new job where I’ve been given the opportunity to meet famous people, travel, attend award ceremonies and meet a bunch of inspiring people.

I have done more charity this year, giving my time to actually help others. Incredibly rewarding and you get to meet like minded individuals who make you want to be better.

It’s not all been good though.

My grandma who I have known all my life, who has lived with me since I was born passed away this year. She was old but it still came as a surprise since she was so strong and I never imagined the impact that her absence would have on me. I realised, perhaps a bit too late, how precious our time is and how we should be spending more time with those we love. We take for granted the time we are given for our parents, our grandparents and siblings.


I relapsed this year and had a really rough time coming out of it.  It was emotionally draining and incredibly challenging. But, for the first time in a long time when I relapsed I did not self harm in any way. It seems the tattoo I got actually has helped to deter those habits. Oh add I got a tattoo to the list of things I invested into this year.

My brother got married and we are now much closer. It also means we have a new person in the family to annoy and bully. She is actually quite lovely and puts up with all our nonsense. Hooray!

Overall, there’s been a lot of good and there’s been a lot of bad, as there had been in  every year so far and will be in every year coming. But, I choose to reflect and focus on all the good, something that I’ve never done. I always recall on new years saying it’s been a terrible year, I hope this year is better.

Truth is, you shouldn’t hope that this year is better. You should make the year better. Say “yes!” to more opportunities. Go out of your comfort zone and do things that challenge you physically and intellectually. Volunteer. Travel.

Happy new year Y’all. Here’s to a year of more travelling, doing a triathlon, making more outfit and kicking ass.

The story of every Asian: you have to get married

Hindu wedding couple

When it comes to graduation for many of us Asian girls it’s both a blessing and a curse. Our three-six years of hard work and labour are finally paying off, we no longer have to write another exam, we can finally find a job and start earning money instead of waiting every semester for our loans to drops. But, it also means that we are to brace ourselves for the inevitable: our parent’s trying to get us married.

I was rather fortunate in this sense; questions of my marriage did not come forth until I actually had a job. Some of my friends were not so fortunate; some were getting pressured to accept or consider proposals before they even finished their final year. Girls seem to reach a particular age after which they are constantly bombarded with questions from aunties about the absence of a Thaali around their neck/ ring on their fingers.

I understand that for some people the next step after education is getting married and that’s fine. It’s what they want. But, I finished university when I was 23 years and I already felt that I was ‘behind’ with my ambitions. Marriage wasn’t really on my list. Even now, I’m not ready: I am not financially secure, I can barely cook and I love food (so that’s a problem).

Truthfully though the proposals and questions about getting married aren’t really what make me angry. It is this: as an Asian girl I am often told that I have to get married because I can’t live alone. I feel that as a women I am undermined. I am told that I am unable to be happy or secure on my own. I am told that marriage is a necessity. But what I fail to understand is why?

Is it because marriage provides financial security?
Yes, perhaps when my parents were younger women were dependent on others and a marriage provided them with security as many of them didn’t work. But now things have changed, we are educated to be independent. We are encouraged to learn to support ourselves and stand on our own feet.

Is it to have children?
There’s adoptions and even IVF, you no longer need a partner to have a child.

What exactly is the reason that I must get married? We need to stop forcing the idea of marriage as a necessity. We need to stop pressuring people to get married like they have an expiry date to get hitched and be happy.

One day I would like to get married, for love. I mean I’ve been planning my wedding since I was 13 – I’m not really against it. I’ll get married because I want to, not because I have to, and I’m sure that most of Asian girls who are often pressured with married feel the same.